The Subtle Art of Hating Your Own Movie: James Garner, Alan Hale Jr., and the Curious Case of 'Up Periscope'
There’s something oddly fascinating about actors who openly despise their own films. It’s like watching a chef spit out their own dish—you can’t help but wonder, what went wrong? In the case of James Garner and the 1959 submarine drama Up Periscope, the answer seems to be a mix of contractual obligation, creative misalignment, and a healthy dose of Garner’s trademark candor. But what makes this story particularly intriguing is how it highlights the stark contrast between two actors’ experiences on the same set—one who hated it, and one who seemed to shrug it off.
The Star Who Hated the Spotlight
James Garner was never one to mince words, and his disdain for Up Periscope is a prime example. In his memoir, The Garner Files, he dismisses the film as ‘another piece of crap that Warner Bros. stuck me in while I was under contract.’ Ouch. Personally, I think this kind of honesty is refreshing in an industry where actors often feign enthusiasm for their projects. Garner’s one-star rating for the film isn’t just a critique of the movie itself—it’s a window into the frustrations of being a contracted actor in the studio system of the 1950s. What many people don’t realize is that actors like Garner often had little say in the projects they were assigned to, and Up Periscope seems to have been a particularly bitter pill to swallow.
But why did Garner hate it so much? From my perspective, it wasn’t just the film’s ‘familiar and somewhat undramatic course,’ as The New York Times put it. Garner was a star on the rise, fresh off the success of Maverick, and Up Periscope felt like a step backward. The role of Lt. Kenneth Braden wasn’t a stretch for him, and the film’s lack of tension until the final act probably didn’t help. If you take a step back and think about it, Garner’s frustration likely stemmed from a deeper sense of creative stagnation. He was an actor who thrived on challenge, and Up Periscope simply didn’t deliver.
The Supporting Player Who Saw the Bright Side
Alan Hale Jr., on the other hand, seemed to take the film in stride. Playing the minor role of Pat Malone, Hale Jr. didn’t have much to do, but he still managed to bring ‘a modicum of levity’ to the proceedings, according to The New York Times. What this really suggests is that Hale Jr. was already honing the comedic skills that would later make him a household name as the Skipper on Gilligan’s Island. One thing that immediately stands out is how Hale Jr.’s ability to find the humor in a lackluster project foreshadowed his career trajectory. He wasn’t a leading man, but he knew how to make the most of what he was given.
This contrast between Garner and Hale Jr. raises a deeper question: how do actors navigate projects they don’t believe in? Garner’s approach was to call it out, while Hale Jr. seemed to focus on the positives. In my opinion, both strategies have their merits. Garner’s honesty humanizes him, while Hale Jr.’s adaptability shows resilience. What this really suggests is that there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to dealing with creative disappointment.
The Broader Implications of a Forgotten Film
Up Periscope may not be a cinematic masterpiece, but its story is a microcosm of the larger tensions in Hollywood’s Golden Age. Contracted actors like Garner were often at the mercy of studio executives, forced to take on roles that didn’t align with their ambitions. A detail that I find especially interesting is how this dynamic persists in the industry today, albeit in different forms. Modern actors may not be bound by the same rigid contracts, but they still face pressure to take on projects for financial or career reasons.
If you take a step back and think about it, Up Periscope is more than just a forgotten war movie—it’s a case study in the power dynamics of Hollywood. Garner’s hatred for the film is a reminder that even the most successful actors can feel trapped by their circumstances. Meanwhile, Hale Jr.’s ability to find the silver lining serves as a lesson in making the most of a bad situation.
Final Thoughts: The Art of Moving On
In the end, Up Periscope is a footnote in both Garner’s and Hale Jr.’s careers, but it’s a fascinating one. Garner’s disdain for the film is a testament to his integrity, while Hale Jr.’s willingness to play along shows his professionalism. Personally, I think the real takeaway here is that not every project has to be a masterpiece—sometimes, it’s enough to do your job and move on.
What makes this story particularly fascinating is how it humanizes two actors who, despite their differences, were both navigating the complexities of Hollywood in their own ways. Garner’s honesty and Hale Jr.’s adaptability are two sides of the same coin, and together, they offer a nuanced look at what it means to be an actor in an industry that often values profit over passion.
So, the next time you watch a movie and wonder why an actor seems disengaged, remember Up Periscope. It’s a reminder that behind every film, there’s a story—and sometimes, that story is far more interesting than the movie itself.
